Yes, Minister/Yes, Prime Minister



This page carries the favorite quotes of Yes Prime Minister fans, if you want to send me any, then please .

Now, a certain Australian fan named Shawn sent me an amazing number of quotes, that they have been given their own page.

First off, we have a load from Carolyn Hamby, one of the sites major users.....

"She's a lawyer. Getting around the law is what she get's paid to do!"
Jim Hacker on Agnes Moorhouse

"I'm not your dear lady; so cut the sexist crap."
Agnes Moorhouse to Sir Humphrey

"Well, you know with the Church, you end up with either a queen or a knave."
Bernard Wooley on the choices for bishop

"But this is a BRITISH DEMOCRACY!"
Sir Humphrey on why governmental power can't be given to the people.

Next, we have one from Johnathon Allan Scharf, entitled "Sir Humprey's longest sentence"

Well, it's clear that the committee has agreed that your new policy is a really excellent plan but in view of some of the doubts being expressed, may I propose that I recall that after careful consideration, the considered view of the committee was that while they considered that the proposal met with broad approval in principle, that some of the principles were sufficiently fundamental in principle and some of the considerations so complex and finely balanced in practice, that, in principle, it was proposed that the sensible and prudent practice would be to submit the proposal for more detailed consideration, laying stress on the essential continuity of the new proposal with existing principles, and the principle of the principle arguments which the proposal proposes and propounds for their approval, in principle.

Here's one from :

Jim Hacker: I don't want a leak enquiry, I want to find out who did it.

Well, it would appear we have some contention as to what really was Sir Humphrey's longest sentance, because I just got this from (Ezequiel Di Paolo), entitled Sir Humphrey's LONGEST sentence

Here is my contribution to your quotes page. It's from the episode "Man Overboard" and I believe is a bit longer that "Sir Humphrey's longest sentence", but, then again, I transcribed it directly from the video and I may be wrong.

Here it is:

"It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them, and that every member's recollection of them differs violently from every other member's recollection; consequently we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials; from which it emerges with elegant inevitability, that any decision which has been officially reached would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials, and any decisions which is not recorded in the minutes by the officials has not been officially reached, even if one or more members believe they can recollect it; so in this particular case, if the decision would have been officially reached, it would have been recorded in the minutes by the officials and it isn't so it wasn't."

Here's one from Ian Gillman ()....

I think this quote comes from Yes Minister (Jobs For The Boys) but I am not sure. Hopefully I got the honours real names correct. I had to leave my tapes behind when I came to the USA so I am going from memory. Bernard: Well there are 3 basic honours CMG, KCMG and GCMG. The Cross Of St Michael and St George, the Knights Cross Of St Michael and St George and the Grand Cross Of St Michael and St George. Also known as Call Me God, Kindly Call Me God and God Calls Me God.

    Well, slightly inaccurate this one, it was from Doing The Honours in Yes, Minister, but we won't hold that against you Ian *:)

And there is this one from the very first episode of Yes Minister when Jim Hacker asks about the chair he has behind his desk.

Bernard: Well we say that there are 2 types of chair for 2 types of Minister. Those that fold up instantly and those that just go round in circles.

Then there was one I vaguely remember about Jim Hacker describing the "enemy" to his wife.

Jim: No dear, the opposition is the enemy in exile. The Civil Service is the enemy within.

The next one comes from Melissa Davis ().

I humbly submit that which I believe to be Bernerd Wooley's longest sentence, from "The Tangled Web"

Apparently, the fact that you needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, therefore those that needed to advise and inform the Home Secretary perhaps felt the information he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not, at that time, known or needed.

Here's some from Plato ()

JH: We only have one item on the agenda
HA: Then it is agendum, PM
BW: I don't think, that the PM got to the 2nd desclension...
(and later):
BW: Well, (writes down) we have no agendum today...

BW: ...The letter returned from Sir Humphrey's office
JH: And what did he write?
BW: Who is Round and what he objects to?